Saying “sorry” to your toddler does more than just repair the relationship; it also shows your toddler what it looks like to take ownership of one’s behavior. It’s human nature to think of allllll the reasons why your behavior is actually someone else’s fault (ouch), but a genuine apology starts with owning our choices. When you lead with “I’m sorry” you teach your child a powerful relationship-repairing skill that will serve them for years to come.

Telling the story simply means connecting your feelings to your actions. Remember, we’re teaching our children all feelings are okay, and this truth extends to you too! When you tell the story, there’s no need to go into great detail, even if the road to your blow-up involved a variety of plot twists. Keep it simple!

So much of parenting is about connecting the dots for your toddler’s rapidly developing brain and giving them language for feelings they can’t yet name. Once you’ve acknowledged and okayed your own feelings, it’s time to articulate the impact of your actions on your toddler’s feelings.

Toddlers need security. (Honestly, same.) And in the absence of security, they feel anxious and unsure, which can lead to a host of undesirable behavior. So it makes sense to make space in your apology to reassure them of your unconditional love. It may seem almost too simple, and you may wonder if your toddler even hears it. They do. So don’t skip this part!

Wrap up your apology by talking about how you’ll handle things differently the next time you have these feelings. What you’re teaching and modeling in this moment is just as valuable as the apology itself. Not only does your kiddo feel loved, but also they’ve just watched their favorite human in the whole wide world model how to:

All together this apology script takes less than a minute to implement,
but its impact lasts much, much longer.